Conflict resolution
Conflict resolution
Conflict is a normal part of any long term relation between humans. What's important is to have the courage to address it, with an attitude and skills that will support the relationship, not endanger it. So if you are in a conflict with someone: congratulations!!! You are a normal human being and about to live an experience that will help you grow :-)
Using Radical collaboration
Radical collaboration offers many insights on how to deal effectively with conflict. Hopefully you have already followed a training, if not, enroll yourself to the next one and until then use the book or ask a collegue for support. As a reminder, here are some RC elements that are useful, with references to the participants' workbook :
Keep a non-defensive attitude : this is the single most important thing you can do to allow the other person to also stay in the green zone and be constructive. Use your early warning system to notice if you are getting defensive, and apply your action plan if needed (p.21)
Using FIRO, establish a strategy to help the other person and yourself stay in the green zone (pp. 65-68). Here are some ideas we came up for euforia teams, feel free to add your own ideas.
Think in advance about what truths you want to share (pp. 57-58)
Use the Interest Based Negociation or Problem solving approach to prepare your encounter. Suggest the other person does the same, and when you meet use the same format to address your problem. (pp. 22-30)
Multi-step process
Here is another popular multi step process you may use, in combination with RC tools:
Address the issue directly with the person you have a conflict with. If you are unable to solve the problem, then...
Ask a collegue to act as mediator to help you solve the problem. If you are still unable to solve the problem, then...
Involve a board of collegues to help you find a solution. In theory, simply involving so many people will allow the parties to find a solution. In practice we have so far never had to use this 3rd step, the 2nd one has been sufficient.
In case the problem is linked to someone underperforming, then use the potential dismissal process.
How to air dirty laundry
In some cases, it can be useful to have a space to "air dirty laundry", especially if a conflict has involved several people or an entire team, or has been going on for a long time and needs some closure. Here you find a couple tools.
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